Chapter 2

    The ironic thing about Ronald Triumph’s “MAKE RANGE LINE GREAT AGAIN” hat is that he doesn’t need a hat.  Not at all.  Ronald Triumph has Biblical hair.  It is glorious.

    Most people notice Ronald Triumph’s hair, but he was first famous in our area for his candy.  SWEET TRIUMPH candy.  Ronald Triumph borrowed money from his father in 3rd grade to start the business.  It is excellent stuff.  It makes my mouth dance.  And he sells a lot of it.  Actually, people sell it for him.  Mostly at the pool in the summer.

    This election is a little bit about candy at the pool but it is also a little bit about underwear.   Wet underwear.  Wet underwear made in Mexico.